Mobile

Mobile

loading videos to my YouTube.  3[

@ 13 or 14

Edit

I added my tan type.

Echos

Why in music is the only thing that makes anything worth it echos?  In keyboard, I was always interested in that.

Ex er Cise

in out

WORK out

WORK NOW

EX ER CISE

I did some ex er cise!  (('3D))

Update

Waist: 32" - 31"

Eating

I had a big piece of liverwurst and finally am eating my parents's food, spaghetti and sausages with tomato sauce but not much meat this time.  :|

Waitlisted

I got my 1st waitlist, Weight Training I TR mornings, in case it opens up and I get in Voice for the Actor, though I don't know that I will because I don't know if my dad really wants me to just not take all the theater courses or thought I should be off to a slow start.  The thing is I will probably get financial aid, though.  So...  They've been paying a lot for 3 car accidents, though.  What's that supposed to mean?  They just did it as a trick because they're treating me like I don't matter and that my life is an experiment and that I owe them everything to any good experience I have like with other people!  ':0

Applied

I just e-mailed my mom for some stuff for UCF and the FAFSA, the big financial aid everyone here is requiring.  I'm in Seminole, just have to call and see why I can't sign up for classes.  I e-mailed about music at Valencia, the form online they only gave, and to Seminole about organ.  In the summer, I'm doing Ballet I MW mornings at Valencia.  The theater teacher I have is teaching Acting I in the short summer semester, like 6 something to 9 something, 2 sections at the same time.  I don't think I will take it.  There will be no "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  I signed up for Music Education at UCF.  I was looking at Theater and thinking about Voice.  BTW, you have to take 8-10 semesters of a foreign language at UCF if you didn't in high school.  We didn't have to and didn't know we'd have to take more than 2 semesters.  I guess the Ballet I will be fun.  I can still post online and there will be summer flicks.  A summer job would be fun but maybe not.  I have to see what Ginny teachers at the other community college.  She might be doing Oral Communication II, which there is just I this semester.  I was thinking of taking a break this semester.  I did meet a girl who took her classes 3 semesters in a row, but she didn't seem very close.  I really liked her.  She's big.  She also teaches Dialects.  I could ask to take private coaching from her after this semester is through.  Too bad I didn't know about transportation before.  I could even use it to do other things.  I think I learned about this as a disabled student from going to the mental hospital, but I don't know if it's just for the "disabled."  I mean, the bus would take a long time, but I assume it would for most people.  I used to see a Valencia bus but not anymore and I'm there all day but not anymore.

Scoo

I'm applying fo UCF.  The date for the big private college has passed.  I think most of the other schools don't have many programs, and yes I've looked at them maybe like 4 times.  UCF's deadline is July 1.  So, the private college, which is #$1 in the South (not as a National University but the other big category of schools that offer the Masters level) has the deadline for the Spring.. Nov 1.

Problem

I don't care if you think something's not supposed to be cool because it is, and some things prove you're just a foo'.

Problem

I don't care what you know, like you think that makes you smarter or that you think it proves you act more European because I don't think it does anything.  You just gape at me with signs you give and complain that you don't have a blog.

Problem

There's no reason for my parents's family to think I'm a nigger.  To elaborate, they will say that I'm like perverted but just feel funny in how I've been treated growing up because my mom thinks I have to be an ugly Chinese.  Why did she even have me?  LOOK I'M NOT GONNA BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

Problem

My dad keeps getting antsy thinking he's worth something trying to hurt me thinking it's a sacrifice that no one will hurt him, but he and in some ways his family.. don't participate in like idealizing or fantasizing or something that he's really tacky and disgusting etc. like that it must be passed on to me except it's not really there.  I don't believe in wasting time on that.

Oh, and I was cowering in my bad a bit after my mom left because my dad was gaping at me-but like that he "didn't really do it" :/- like playing with my eyes like I'm a cartoon nigger and making fun of "my mother" which I'm not good enough for...

Woke Up

Eating Cream Cheese & Chives crackers with spread.

I had dreams.  I remember 1 now we were in class and I remember sprawling out in a room.  1st I remember we were having turns going up to Ginny, and like we were each sitting on her lap, like Santa Claus.  So, I wanted to I think eventually like sidesaddle, but I just sat on a huge leg like a bike and she said like see I have big boobs, I guess like my therapist.  I think she was jiggling her leg up and down worried.  I had a dream I was sitting on Tim Burton's leg about a month ago.  So, it made me feel in my crotch, kinda like my bladder and stuff like I was trying to get something out but sitting there limp like a doll I guess but alive and just got up and left.  I remember feeling unhealthy in some contrapted room with public computer booths about signing up for ballet or about dance in general and getting instructions.

Also, my mom did the laundry and my right sac is feeling leathery and taking effort.

I'M NOT HERE FOR YOUR WORTHLESS SAKE FOR ALL YOU DO WRONG TO ME TO KEEP GETTING BACK TO ME GO TO **** NIGGERS

Many Talents

Something that doesn't work out with people is that if 1 person is good at something but you decide aren't popular (-how- -would- -you- -decide- -that-) that someone they are related to or know can be bestowed with the same gift and not someone else more talented.

Sick

I don't think I'll be getting a sore throat.  I haven't been taking my pills, should probably keep Vitamin C in my room or extract it.  I'm just getting a chilly, warm-wet nose and just sneezed!  Ah-choo!  Like Miss A in Letter People.

Going 2 Bed, Soon

Umph

Something interesting in class...  Ginny set up the blocks I didn't notice to make a booth.  When it was over, I didn't help because I wasn't the 1, but I realized my ankle almost broke just now.  Haha, it's so funny when adults show off their rm muscles.  She was like quickly putting blocks away.  The people I knew in music ... well, the singer ... didn't seem to have like as sure of strong arms.  She was very big, though, very tall.  My arms used to be big but not fat and not like bubbly.  My legs were pretty thin, but when I quit the workout activities I just bloated, even in a year.  I want to start jogging with weights and wish we had Body Pump.

My Morning So Far

I lay on my sofa.  I ate 2 hamburgers on thin rye with Heinz.  I had a whole zucchinni!  Cut up and cooked.  3I  Like always.  1st time I had a whole big 1.  I had a turkey panini at the mall with sourkraut.  Didn't like it.  It had "Thousand Island" dressing, which was good, but it was cold in the middle.  3I  Then, I walked to the 711 and got a sammich and ice cream candy bar.  3D

I was in the bathtub and thinking about touching my teacher for a long time.  =}  You know, getting close to her?  Physically.  I just didn't know why, except that I got mad.  I was in a group and I told her I didn't feel well and my partner wasn't telling me what to do, but I am pretty good at being backed off at my age, now.  =]  I used to ask my dad to carry me when I was a kid and my mom when I was a toddler, like 2, 3.  I didn't like it when she pushed me in her stroller.  She was very mad in a way but not barking that I hid behind her dress, like at work..  3|  Also, when we went to the beach, like Pompano Beach, which I liked a lot of course, it being directly above Fort Lauderdale, where I 1st existed.  I wasn't really frantic other than to keep my feet dry, but I regret that.  I really was scared at school without my mom after it was over.  My dad said the kids would go up to them and say I didn't talk and finally I did.  I remember not talking.  Then, I started to talk and it just wasn't a big deal.

Edit

I put how long Chinese-Indonesian is.

Problem

I'm not gonna let you be mean to me.  What's your problem?  Why are all the people I like being mean to me?  I guess they had rushy parents.

Problem

YOU NIGGERS.  I was in the car, and my dad like wiped out the meat of my right eye.  That's the "literal" side of the body, and the left side is the creative side.

Problem

Something really bad happened.  I'm not daring in a vicious, niggery sorta way.  I was in the car.  My dad was like snapping around.  My nose felt soft in a bad way, whereas before it was hard and crusty.  This is not something I would do to a kid.  I mean, I can see other people making it happen and letting me know, but I don't agree with it.  I could be made to look like I do, but I didn't.  Wow, what niggers in Orlando.

Forgetful

I just thought of something but forgot.

So, why exactly is Florida and California plain?  It wasn't because of the beach.

Edit

I tagged my last post "Audrey."

These People, These Faces

So, I guess people are tired of playing around with like making up stuff about being nice to me.  I wonder why Tim Burton does that?  I guess a famous person from California or Florida would be ideal.  I guess Ginny Kopf is the best.  All I can say is if someone from California moved to a friendly place in Fort Lauderdale.  I mean, how would you be famous there?  Hm.  I mean, you could live there, but why?  I guess you have to cater where you're from.  For some reason, people want to know where my dad is from.  Well, he might be Native American indian.  So, I know I get intelligence from him as a person.  I don't know about people meeting their parents later on in life and no one really knowing their parents before well enough.  I did connect to the Cleveland area because my dad's dad's family lives there.  Also, I guess I have to say I'm Pennsylvanian because I get a lot of like hunk and milk from him, he drank and drinks so much milk, every meal.  His mom didn't work until his 2nd sister was born, but she worked to put milk on the table for him...  So, my mom is from out-of-the-U.S. and is pretty much European.  You are interested in the milk and intelligence, but it dies down, maybe because his parents weren't as well-fed.  My brother is not as strong.  He doesn't listen to me.  My parents think making him European would damage him maybe because he's a boy so maybe they are wanting him to like explore and don't know how.  I don't think he likes who he is.  My parents just sorta put me off and change their mind.  I haven't really designed much for him in my head.  Haha, a puff of a thought, like Ginny's last name, Kopf!  I just realized Pennsylvania is the 2nd smartest state.  So, what was I talking about?  Ah, yes.  So, I have that "white American" heritage.  *eye roll*  So, it won't affect me because I've never lived in Pennsylvania.  I was up there with my dad's youngest sister, who they play around with is really bad and then when I'm mad that she is skinnier they deny it.  I'm pretty feminine and solid like her, so we get along well.  We're both feminine and really into Audrey Hepburn.  Funny the other sister isn't.  She thinks it's not ***y.  My dad does, but he doesn't make fun of me but in a way seems to think I'm tacky.  My grandma is more supportive and aloof!  :o  So, I had a good time in Louisiana, maybe kinda tipped over, so-to-speak.  My friend from San Fransisco seemed coocoo.  I don't get it, but that's what they're supposed to do.  I don't have an accent like people from up north, but when I heard it I caught on and processed it.  =}

Ethnic Countries in Florida and California

A thought just occurred to me that I've never specifically thought of, HA!  Florida and California don't have a specific style, like the specific countries.  So, you have to go in and find their ethnicities.